There are soooo many things –
I am paralyzed in deciding what to explore – overwhelmed by it all –

So instead here’s something I started writing 2 years ago, rewrote a year ago, final editing happened today end of July 2024
Posting it now as a way of acknowledging lingering sadness, releasing the betrayals that brought me to where I am now, thanking them for my freedom –

I have been uprooted. 
Moved from one location to another, potted and placed in limbo –

I planted myself in this geographical location – the foothills of southern Alberta – 22 years ago, and immediately began creating a garden in a yard that was begging for beauty. I used plants as colour, shape and texture, and the ground as canvas, essentially painting with plants. Initially people we loved and who loved us brought plants and trees as gifts, and were subsequently referred to as Seibolds’ forsythia, Mavis’ lilac, Carols’ rose, Maurices’ peonies …

Over the years the garden grew to include plants commemorating deaths, births, anniversaries, birthdays. My garden had people and memories attached to the plants, surrounding me with perennial symbols of connection with another. 

The garden flourished and grew, it   became  my refuge. 
It would not be an exaggeration to say that it saved my life  – more than once.
Reminding me of what was real and true, valuable and meaningful.
After enduring a particularly difficult winter – weather storms and personal ones – there were many in 22 years – the perennials and shrubs would always come back – even under the harshest of conditions, hail, early spring, snow in summer, slugs, ants, insect infestations, the list is long –  they never complained, they never wished things could be different, they just showed up no matter what – reaching for the sun, for the light, for their ‘raison d’être’.
If they could do it – what was stopping me?

And now because of one cruel act of betrayal, that garden, that saving grace in my life, ‘belongs’ to someone else. I still boohoo thinking about it, like now (and now). My beloved garden, my creation, my collaboration  with nature and beauty, is being tended to by strangers – so much sadness 

I have been uprooted
Moved from one location to another,  potted and placed in limbo –

This experience is familiar to  me – 
Life is not the linear trajectory we are told it is – far from it –
Instead what I’ve noticed is that it spirals, often in different directions, sometimes all at once
Everywhere in nature, you see cycles of rebirth. Nothing in the natural world just ends, in spite of it seeming so. Instead I see life as moving through stages of transformation, cycles of regeneration, renewal, resurrection, endurance and resilience – perennial returning – gardening teaches us all this.

I miss that close relationship with growing, tending, connecting to the earth, and  creating with nature.
The rewards – beauty, resilience, wisdom – gifts beyond measure –   have been firmly rooted in the core of my being – potted and placed in limbo –

Can we please have peace in the world?
People want peace
Please Peace, peace, and only peace –

As always thank you for spending time, your precious time with my work / words

Louise
Okori
July 2024