Author: Louise

Crying

I’ve been doing a lot of writing, not much posting – life has been intense and somewhat distracting – anyone else notice that?

This is something I wrote a few yeas ago during a particularly destabilizing time in my life. Still true today – although I would say that the tears originate from a different place inside of me, a deeper place, a more compassionate place, a less personal, wider view of humanity and all of its’ failings and triumphs – sometimes anyway 🙂
Posting now because sadness surrounds us, we cannot desensitize to suffering –
Crying and compassion are permitted, expressing pain, joy, gratitude, any and all heart opening emotions are encouraged –

Crying is a super power – My superpower 🙂

I cry everyday, does anyone else do that?
Maybe it would be more accurate to say that I shed tears on a daily basis-
Joyful tears, sorrowful ones and everything in between –
I don’t remember when I noticed that not a day went by without a boohoo –

Often it’s first thing in the morning when the realization of another day and the pain of being in a body and the amount of energy it takes to manage and navigate that environment – tired before I even begin – tears of exhaustion.

Sometimes it happens while driving or in line at the grocery store – moments of pause when a sad memory or longing visits – unexpected tears

Sadness at the loss of joy in my life and how it somehow became OK to live in a situation devoid of it, brings me to tears.

Sometimes it’s when a project or goal finally comes to fruition or an incredibly stressful situation ends – tears of relief

Often it’s being with people, their behaviours, their inability to see/live their light – the inhumanity we have towards each other and the millions of ways that shows up in the world – tears of despair

The sadness of the world can overtake me like a tsunami of grief and suffering – and I cry for those who cannot – tears of compassion.

Walking through the garden, overwhelmed by the beauty that surrounds me, the magic of nature – tears of utter joy, amazement and gratitude

In the presence of beauty, standing in front of a work of art, reading an amazing book, watching a film that moves me beyond the mundane of the everyday – tears of appreciation

In the presence of children, their exuberance, their innocence, their connection to source – tears of unconditional love.

Before bedtime when the burdens of the day cycle through my mind, coming up to be released from the body – the container that holds everything in – crying myself to sleep – soothing tears

There was a time in my life when I didn’t have time to cry, to acknowledge whatever emotion was showing up, doing so would pin me to the ground, paralyze me emotionally – tears take time.

Here’s some stuff I gleaned from the internet that matched some of my experiences – maybe yours too –

Emotions originate as sensations in the body
Feelings are influenced by our emotions but are generated from our mental thoughts – hmmm – curious –
and apparently it turns out that crying is a biological imperative, calming the body by releasing the emotional stress one encounters, washing away whatever is in the way of clarity. Tears are a natural response to an intense emotion, not be shamed, repressed or ignored.

somehow I always feel better after a really good cry – the body knows what it needs.

Yesterday I woke up sobbing – it was strange really because ‘I’ was somewhere else in a pleasant dream actually – the sobbing woke me up – it was this deep sadness and longing to be comforted – a debilitating weariness – the body releasing the tension of months of physically demanding work, non stop work – my body was crying. Feeling that distress added emotional weight – pinning me to the bed until it was over.

Sobbing feels different than crying somehow. Sobbing is deep agony, a total body experience. It was this deep exhaustion in the body pleading for rest, a physical reprieve, not attached to emotion, although sadness did show up – a grief of sorts, something old and weary and not mine – something I carried –

Sobbing sends the sadness away
Tears wash away any resistance to letting it go – useful 🙂

There are no lack of circumstances or situations to cry about these days, seriously heartbreaking. Maybe we need a coordinated global cry to purge the energy of everything holding us back from evolving for the greater good – remember the greater good?
Moving us forward into a future that is free from war and corruption – dreaming?

Pausing now –
taking a deep breath for a quiet moment of crying –
Releasing the pain of the price of war, envisioning world peace –
It can’t come soon enough – how long do we have to wait?

Welcome to my new followers
And as always, thank you for spending time, your precious time with my work / words

Louise
Okori
December 2025 /January 2026

(Edited slightly after today January 3rd 2026)
Just no words –
Going to put myself in an energy of peace –
I know it’s hard these days for many of us, for many different reasons –
I am focusing on sending the energy of peace out into the world.
I see a deep blue color – let sane voices prevail –
It’s never too late
Peace Peace Peace

Uprooted

There are soooo many things –
I am paralyzed in deciding what to explore – overwhelmed by it all –

So instead here’s something I started writing 2 years ago, rewrote a year ago, final editing happened today end of July 2024
Posting it now as a way of acknowledging lingering sadness, releasing the betrayals that brought me to where I am now, thanking them for my freedom –

I have been uprooted. 
Moved from one location to another, potted and placed in limbo –

I planted myself in this geographical location – the foothills of southern Alberta – 22 years ago, and immediately began creating a garden in a yard that was begging for beauty. I used plants as colour, shape and texture, and the ground as canvas, essentially painting with plants. Initially people we loved and who loved us brought plants and trees as gifts, and were subsequently referred to as Seibolds’ forsythia, Mavis’ lilac, Carols’ rose, Maurices’ peonies …

Over the years the garden grew to include plants commemorating deaths, births, anniversaries, birthdays. My garden had people and memories attached to the plants, surrounding me with perennial symbols of connection with another. 

The garden flourished and grew, it   became  my refuge. 
It would not be an exaggeration to say that it saved my life  – more than once.
Reminding me of what was real and true, valuable and meaningful.
After enduring a particularly difficult winter – weather storms and personal ones – there were many in 22 years – the perennials and shrubs would always come back – even under the harshest of conditions, hail, early spring, snow in summer, slugs, ants, insect infestations, the list is long –  they never complained, they never wished things could be different, they just showed up no matter what – reaching for the sun, for the light, for their ‘raison d’être’.
If they could do it – what was stopping me?

And now because of one cruel act of betrayal, that garden, that saving grace in my life, ‘belongs’ to someone else. I still boohoo thinking about it, like now (and now). My beloved garden, my creation, my collaboration  with nature and beauty, is being tended to by strangers – so much sadness 

I have been uprooted
Moved from one location to another,  potted and placed in limbo –

This experience is familiar to  me – 
Life is not the linear trajectory we are told it is – far from it –
Instead what I’ve noticed is that it spirals, often in different directions, sometimes all at once
Everywhere in nature, you see cycles of rebirth. Nothing in the natural world just ends, in spite of it seeming so. Instead I see life as moving through stages of transformation, cycles of regeneration, renewal, resurrection, endurance and resilience – perennial returning – gardening teaches us all this.

I miss that close relationship with growing, tending, connecting to the earth, and  creating with nature.
The rewards – beauty, resilience, wisdom – gifts beyond measure –   have been firmly rooted in the core of my being – potted and placed in limbo –

Backyard garden tour

Can we please have peace in the world?
People want peace
Please Peace, peace, and only peace –

As always thank you for spending time, your precious time with my work / words

Louise
Okori
July 2024

Gyō-Zō

I am noticing myself missing Gyō-zō a lot these days, feeling the absence of him in my daily life even though it’s been 6 years since he left this world for the next – they have been a tumultous 6 years – both globally and personally

Remembering him now I wonder what he would have to say about the state of world affairs these days – these last few years especially – at the same time as knowing exactly what he would say –
‘everything unfolding as it should’
He would however have had opinions about all of it

I miss bringing him brownies and cleaning his house –
I miss bonging bowls, lighting fires, hot tea –
I miss hearing about his birding adventures, discussing gardening dilemas and everyday miracles.
I miss our conversations, his laugh –
I miss hearing about his amazing stories of synchronicity and of visits from beyond the veil –
He was a seer and ‘seeing into life’ and all of its challenges was THE place of his practice

He introduced me to different ways of looking at the world. He recognized my intutive nature, helped me to understand that my seeing was a gift, taught me to trust it, to not be afraid of it. He guided me, cheered me, loved me unconditionally.
In his eyes I was his equal. He thanked me for walking with him through this incarnation.
He said that I had been a blessing to him – the feelings were mutual.

Gradually he lost his eye sight, which for him was all part of the human process which he accepted, he knew where he was in space and his house provided safety for him. He continued to navigate his way through life the way he always had – from the inside out.

There are moments through out the day when the memory of him weaves in and out of my thoughts, upfront and in the background, never far away, seemingly no where to be found –
These occasional memory visits keep his being in my life, helping me to stay sane, grounded.

He was a rare presence in my life – a gift beyond measure.

R. Gyō-zō Spickett April 1927 – April 2018